Tug of War

Is handling everything of our own freedom or frightening? For almost 17 years of my life I have been under my Mom's shade or say the dish is always made by someone else and I only get to taste it. Always getting to live by the easy way.

But now that I have come a long way away from home the very face of my life has changed. There is a separate space for me that I can organise however I want to. Handling things in my own way. Simply put I take care of my own self. But isn't that great?

Yes it is, but it's also frightening. Sometimes there is no one to look after you when you are lying there shivering of cold inside those fragile sheets. Few other times there is no one to lecture you about your health when you complain that you wouldn't eat. Sometimes it's about travelling all alone with fear. And you suddenly realise how mere four walls cannot always be claimed as home and it takes something more than that to be called as one.

Now everytime I go back to Chennai from my home a feeling silently settles in the deepest part of my soul. That restlessness when I realise I have to go back to handling things of my own.

Alone time is great and everyone should ofcourse know to live life on their own terms. But sometimes it feels like a tug of war between freedom and fear. A very blurry line lies between both and it's really hard to balance amidst the two.

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